Steel Battalion is the Icarus of the Xbox 360. Utilizing the latest gaming technology, it strives to reach new heights of immersion and control, only to ultimately fail due to the limitations of the very technology it uses to fly.
The original Steel Battalion for the Xbox required a behemoth controller to control giant robots in a Mechwarrior-type setting. You could excuse the gaming public for not wanting to shell out a few hundred bucks for a controller that could only play one game. When Capcom announced a Steel Battalion reboot that would use the Kinect sensor, something that millions of Xbox 360 gamers already had in their homes, it generated a lot of interest in mech-loving gamers like me. It looked promising. Previews showed Vertical Tanks (VTs, or “Veets”) trundling into battle in beach assaults while the player attempted to keep the enemy in their sights while keeping their crews in line under fire.
To a certain extent, Steel Battalion fulfills that promise.
It’s too bad the game didn’t indicate the real battle is with the Kinect sensor.
In Steel Battalion, you are Sergeant Powers, the commander of a VT. In the tutorial of the game, you are introduced to your foul-mouthed crew comprised of two gun techs and a communications specialist. You also get a nice, slow primer on the controls of your VT. There’s a lot to learn.
Swiping your hand in front of you effectively turns your head so you can see your fellow crew members. Holding both hands out towards the Kinect sensor switches your sight to the viewport of your VT, allowing you to see outside and giving you a good way of piloting your vehicle with your Xbox controller. There’s a periscope. There’s a damage control interface. There’s a monitor where you can access maps and external cameras. There’s a shutter for your viewport. Your cockpit is festooned with controls, and not only that, if you stand up in your seat, your character pops the top of the tank for a way to look around without all that armor in your way. It bears mentioning that Steel Battalion is a first-person game, and that means you’re stuck with whatever Powers himself can see.
The tutorial is nice, slow, methodical, and bloodless. Once you’re done with it, Steel Battalion immediately throws you into a meat grinder. You’re in an Omaha Beach-style amphibious assault. Fire is coming at you from everywhere. Your squad is screaming at you. The mine detector is going off. Every now and then, a shell will hit your tank and you’ll be out of the action for a few seconds just trying to get back in the swing of things.
And the battle with your Kinect begins.
Video games have been around for decades. In that time, control schemes have come about that most gamers can basically agree upon. We’re used to joysticks in our hands and buttons to press. We are not used to clumsy motion control schemes. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to do one action and managed to fumble my way through three other non-desired functions before I finally did what I wanted. During the short tutorial, the motion controls were easy to accomplish. Under battle conditions, with incoming fire and squad members screaming, those same controls were nearly impossible.
That’s the first level. The second level starts slowly, with an extended dialogue between your crew members as you watch some of your comrades in arms between missions. Of course, an attack comes, and all hell breaks loose. You get your mission: go outside your VT and basically flip a switch. Doing that requires putting alternating fists out to “crawl” your way to the switch while you’re under fire.
Folks, it’s a motion-controlled Dragon’s Lair. After a few deaths, I figured out how to beat the second level, and it has nothing to do with tanks, aim, or resource management. You start your tank, you advance five steps, you alternate fists and then put both fists down. That might have been acceptable gameplay in the laser disc games of the 80s. It doesn’t work here.
I was looking forward to Steel Battalion. The first few missions reduced my opinion of the game from “anticipated” to “quirky.” The fifth mission made me give up.
I’m clearing the streets of enemy forces. I’m fighting the whole way, my crew is banged up, I’m low on ammo. Then an enemy soldier pops the top of my VT and starts struggling with one of my crew members. The rest of my crew tells me, “shoot that guy!”
I instinctively turn my joysticks to look up: The turret turns.
I pop my hands out: My viewpoint retreats from the viewport.
I use my joysticks: The turret turns, and my viewpoint goes back to the viewport.
I pop my hands out: My viewpoint retreats from the viewport.
I swipe my hand to switch my internal view: I engage my periscope.
I swipe my hands up: I stow the periscope.
I swipe my hand to switch my internal view: I engage the map monitor.
I swipe my hand: I stow the map monitor.
I swipe my hand to switch my internal view: I engage the map monitor.
I swipe my hand: I stow the map monitor.
I swipe my hand to switch my internal view: I engage the map monitor.
I hear gurgling sounds.
I hear my squad despair.
I swipe my hand and finally switch my internal view to see my communications officer slumped in the VT in a bloody mess.
Screw this game.
Rating: SKIP IT!
The good folks at Zen Studios are out with their newest four-pack for Zen Pinball/Pinball FX 2, Marvel Pinball: Avengers Chronicles. Here’s my take on the good, the bad, and the gamma ray-irradiated.
